Questions Men Have For Women

Let’s face it, when it comes to the fairer sex, well… we can be a little confusing. 

In this special edition of Ask Kimberly, I answer some of the most common questions men have for women. Hopefully this clears up some of the mystery – at least just a little.

Do you have a question or a situation you’d like me to weigh in on? Send me a direct message at forum name – KMWylie . As always, if your question is chosen for a post, your identity will be completely anonymous. So, don’t be shy! There are no dumb questions!

Check out our other Ask Kimberly questions here —

Ask Kimberly

NOTE: The answers below are based on my own opinion and conversations I’ve had with female friends. Not all women are the same – in fact, we’re all completely unique!

1. How often do women lie about having an orgasm? And, have you ever lied about having an orgasm?
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   Statistics vary greatly on how often women lie about having an orgasm, but some studies report more than 80% of women have faked their orgasm. There are several reasons why we may do this. No fault of your own, we may simply be tired or stressed out and realize an orgasm just isn’t in the cards at that time, and understanding men are very goal-oriented, we just want to alleviate your stress. Sometimes we fake it because, well… the sex just isn’t very good, and we want it to be over with.
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2. What’s the most important quality in a man?
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   When we’re talking about long-term partners, the top qualities in a man women are looking for include: caring, sense of humor, intelligence, confidence, devoted, empathetic, and great communicator. Notice, looks and money aren’t on that list. Why? Because although looks and money may attract a woman at first (especially superficial ones), no woman ever truly fell in love with a man because he had money or was good looking. On the contrary, women fall in love with men who are not traditionally physically attractive and are broke, every single day, because they have the qualities I list above.
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3. What’s the perfect size penis? How big of a penis is too big and how small of a penis is too small?
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   This is probably the question I get most often – both privately and on the forums. There is no perfect penis size. It’s more about what you DO with your penis, than its size. Rock-hard erection quality, solid stamina and good technique can take a below average-sized penis and make it a rockstar! Poor EQ, no stamina and poor technique can make even the biggest dick a dud in the sack. As far as how big is too big? I, personally, don’t like my cervix hit – so, if you’re so big that’s happening, and you’re not skilled enough to know how to prevent that from happening – that’s too big, in my books. However, there are some women who enjoy that cringing pain. A micropenis (under 3″ erect) would probably be in my personal category of “too small.” Now, there are lesbians around the world that will tell you that you don’t need a penis at all to have a satisfying sex life, so even a man with a micropenis can make up for it in other ways. Check out my article on vagina size and my article on where the G-spot is, to learn more about female anatomy, to get some perspective.
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4. What are some of your major turn-offs?
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   My biggest turn-off includes poor, personal hygiene. Greasy hair, dirty fingernails, bad breath, body odor, and/or dirty clothes… yeah, I’m not going to be turned on. Negative attitude ranks right up there too. If you’re constantly bitching about something (work, other people, the government, life in general), I’m also going to be turned off.
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5. What are some of your major turn-ons?
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   Other than good personal hygiene and a positive attitude, a guy who is playful is a huge turn-on to me. A good sense of humor is so, so sexy. Plus, I love a guy who actually acts like they’re interested in me. Make me feel like I’m the most amazing woman in the universe, and that’s going to really get me going. Touch me – not necessarily in sexual places. Like run your fingers along the back of my neck. Play with the palm of my hand and wrist. And kissing… lots of kissing!
   
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6. Others than bars/clubs, where’s the best place a guy can meet someone?
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   Bars and nightclubs are tough. Lots of people, but it’s noisy and usually women are with friends. It can be hard to approach someone in this venue. So, looking for other places to meet someone is smart. The best place to meet someone is doing activities you actually enjoy. So, if you like to workout – the gym. If you like to play volleyball – join a rec league. If you like to cook – take a cooking class. If you like to read – join a book club. This will already give you something in common with the women you approach.
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7. Why do women continue to use subtle hints with men, when they clearly don’t work?
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   The easy answer – because we’re eternal optimists! LOL Seriously, though, it’s because we want you to come to whatever conclusion we’re hinting at on your own, because then it’ll mean so much more. Example: We really like a band. In fact, you should’ve noticed that one of their songs is our ringtone. Now, this band is coming to town. We’d really like you to here this news and think, “Kimberly really likes ABC Band – I should get tickets!” That would be sweet and thoughtful! But, when we realize you probably haven’t been paying attention (either to our music tastes and/or the concert schedule), we decide to give you a little help. “Honey, did you see ABC Band is coming to town in June?” Now, we’re hoping this is going to turn on a little lightbulb in your head and you get those tickets, without further prompting. It’s still sweet and thoughtful, with this minor hint. Now, if we have to say, “I want to go to the ABC Band concert in June.” well, it takes away all of the thoughtfulness.
   
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8. What do you really think if your guy loses his erection or isn’t able to orgasm?
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   Our first thought is often, “What am I doing wrong?” I think this is a woman’s number 1 fear, when this happens. “Is he not attracted to me?” “Am I not good enough?” “Is he not enjoying sex with me?” We pretty much tend to blame ourselves, if our man can’t perform, for whatever reason. Because of this, it’s really, really important for men to reassure us that it’s not us (and keep reassuring us). And, yes, our guy not being able to orgasm is just as worrying to us as any erection difficulties. For women, we have to remind ourselves that 99% of the time, it’s absolutely nothing to do with us and try to be supportive of our man, so we don’t make the situation even worse.
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9. Why do women ask questions they really don’t want an honest answer to, like – Do I look fat in this outfit?
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   This one is silly, but we do it because we want reassurance. Whether it’s reassurance that we’re attractive – Do I look fat? Or, reassurance that you’re not going to leave us – Do you think she’s prettier than me? We sometimes just feel insecure and need you to build up our ego. However, if we really look awful in an outfit, don’t let us leave the house! Instead of saying we look fat in something (or ugly, etc.), approach it from a positive suggestion.  Example response to “Do I look fat in this outfit?” – You know, I really liked that dress you wore to dinner a couple weeks ago. The one with the flowers. You looked really good in that! You should wear that.
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10. Why is it such an issue that guys leave the toilet seat up?
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    There are a couple of reasons why this bothers us so much. First, it’s unsanitary. We don’t want to have to touch the toilet seat to put it down. I know, it means you guys have to touch it – but, that’s your choice, because you could sit to pee. Second, and most importantly, it’s a courtesy thing. You know it bugs us. Show us you care about our feelings with this one little thing. Leaving the toilet seat up screams to us, “I really don’t care what you want.”
    
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11. Why do women always go to the bathroom in groups?
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    Well, this is when we hold our Super Secret Women’s Society meetings, where we make plans to rule the world!  Seriously, though sometimes we do this, so we can continue talking or maybe even talk about our guys. Sometimes we just like the companionship. Sometimes we go, because we don’t want the women that do go to talk about us when we’re not there! OK, I don’t think I’ve ever worried about this, but I know some friends who would be concerned about this, with certain women. Most often, it’s just a social thing – no ulterior motives.
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12. Why do women dress so provocatively, but then complain when guys are checking them out?
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    We want to look our best, but we don’t want guys leering at us. There’s a difference between a guy seeing us and thinking we’re pretty, and one who is openly gawking at us. Dressing provocatively can help us feel good about ourselves. But, wolf whistles and/or inappropriate comments aren’t appropriate.
    
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13. Do women check out a guy’s package like guys check out women’s boobs?
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    For the most part – no. Women don’t look at a guy’s package as often as men check out women’s boobs. We’re looking at your smile – your hair – your arms – your butt.  Most of the time, men’s pants aren’t conducive for package checking out. But, even if they were it’s not something most women would actively look at. Now, I’ll admit, if you’re on the beach, in a Speedo, I might look briefly, but that’s out of curiosity, rather than actual sexual intention. And, if you have a great set of abs, I’m probably going to be focused on those instead.
    
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14. Do women actually like dick pics?
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    You have to be in a relationship where this is appropriate – first and foremost. I mean, if you’re just chatting with someone on Tinder and send an unsolicited dick pic… BAD! But, if your girl takes it as sexy and playful – we might like it.  However, even though I am a big fan of penises – a pic of MrKimberly’s penis (although it’s a very nice one!) is not really going to turn me on.
    
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15. Why do women always go for jerks over nice guys?
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    This is a very good question! Women go for jerks over nice guys for one reason – confidence. Confidence is a big turn on for many women. We are initially attracted to that. And, we have the hope that we’re going to be the woman that makes that asshat see the light and actually become a confident nice guy. That rarely happens. And, in the end, we usually end up marrying the nice guy. But, I know it’s so frustrating for the nice guys of the world, in the meantime. Be confident, and you’ll be the whole package deal from the beginning!
    
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