A 52-year old Croatian man, known as “The Penis Collector” has been arrested, in Slavonski Brod, in Eastern Croatia. Your penises are now safe! I know, you all are breathing a sigh of relief.
Wait, what?!
You’ve never heard of The Penis Collector?!
OK, me neither, but this has got to be one of the whackiest penis-related news stories I’ve heard in awhile, so I just had to share.
Our creepy phallic aficionado was found to have “jars and jars” of human penises in his home. All of which were thoughtfully preserved in formaldehyde — because, of course, no one wants their jars of penises to go bad on the shelf. There is one small piece (no pun intended) of good news in this atrocious story – all of the penises in his collection appear to have been collected from men after death.
According to the report, The Penis Collector (as yet unnamed by authorities), works for a local hospital, as a registered nurse. Personal accounts range from a family man with no criminal record, to an alcoholic who had a habit of showing up to work drunk. Apparently, The Penis Collector used his position at the hospital to get access to his “collectibles” from the hospital morgue.
Of course, to make the story even more twisted… The Penis Collector has been released from custody, while he awaits his trial. He’s being charged with “disturbing the deceased” and is facing a maximum of two years in prison. To me, that sounds like a pretty light sentence. Can you imagine being the guy’s cellmate if he’s convicted?
“So, what’re you in for?”
“Collecting human penises.”
*shudder*