It’s Valentine’s Day, and love is in the air! So, we thought it would be a little fun to list our Top 100 penis nicknames.Why we name this particular body part has yet to be fully explained. I, personally, think it’s because it’s our favorite! It’s also a lot of fun!

This list of 100 penis nicknames, obviously, isn’t all-inclusive. Feel free to comment below with your favorite(s)! Enjoy and…

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

Our Favorite 100 Penis Nicknames

1. Action Jackson
2. Alabama Black Snake
3. Albino Asparagus
4. Atomic Turtle
5. Baloney Pony
6. Bat and Balls
7. Bed Snake
8. Beef Bayonet
9. The Big Dipper
10. Big Jake the One-Eyed Snake
11. The Blue-Veined Aristocrat
12. Bushwhacker
13. Buster Hymen
14. Captain Winky
15. Cave Hunter
16. Custard Launcher
17. Chicksicle
18. Chief of Staff
19. Clam Digger
20. Clam Hammer
21. Cock-a-saurus Rex
22. Cocktapus
23. Count Schlongula
24. Crotch Cannon
25. Cupid’s Arrow
26. Dangling participle
27. The Dicktator
28. Disco Stick
29. Dr. Feelgood
30. Earthworm Jim
31. Easy Rider
32. El Presidente
33. Elmer the Glue Shooter
34. Energizer Bunny
35. Everlasting Gob Dropper
36. Excalibur
37. Fat Albert
38. Flesh Flute
39. Frank n’ Beans
40. Fuck Puppet
41. George… I will name him George, and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him.
42. Georgia Kingsnake
43. The Giving Tree
44. Grabthar’s hammer
45. Hairy Houdini
46. Hanging Chad
47. Happy Harry Hard-on
48. He Who Must be Obeyed
49. Heat Seeking Moisture Missile
50. Herman von Longschlongenstein
51. Ivan the Terrible
52. Jimmy Wriggler
53. Just-in Beaver
54. Kaptain Kielbasa
55. King Dingaling
56. King Dong
57. Knobgoblin
58. Lance of Love
59. Lap Lizard
60. Lap Rocket
61. Lewinski Lunch
62. Lincoln Log
63. Little Elvis
64. Long Dong Silver
65. Longrod Von Hugedong
66. Lord Hardwick
67. Love Shaft
68. Moby Dick
69. Mr. Happy
70. Muff Marauder
71. One-eyed trouser trout
72. Otis Deepthroatis
73. Pleasure Pump
74. Prince Everhard of the Netherlands
75. Puff the One-Eyed Dragon
76. Purple Helmeted Warrior of Love
77. Python of Love
78. Richard and the Twins
79. Rumpleforeskin
80. Russel the One-Eyed Muscle
81. Sergeant Stiffy
82. Sex Pistol
83. Spanky
84. Sperminator
85. Spitting Cobra
86. Tan Banana
87. Telescope Of Love
88. Thrill Drill
89. Tonsil Tickler
90. Trouser Snake
91. Twig and Berries
92. Uncle Reamus
93. Vaginal Depth Detector
94. Veinous Maximus
95. Vlad the Impaler
96. Wally the one-eyed wonder wiener
97. Weapon of Ass Destruction
98. Wee Willy Winkie
99. Womb broom
100. Zipper ripper